January 30, 2008

• I found this in an old post and decided that it required reposting because I find myself interesting.  Long ago I was asked to list my six top turn-ons.  I will no update them and amuse myself with how they have changed.

  1.  Outward attractiveness: 
  This may seem like a silly number one as it is very shallow, but if we
  go in chronological order rather than biggest turn on order, this one
  is the most important.  You must be attractive to me before I persue a
  conversation with you.  For males, this means you must:  be skinny, be
  pale, not have red hair, have broad shoulders and a tiny waste, be hairless on the portion of your body visible in public at least, and have an interesting face.  For females, this means you must:  be skinny, have sizable breasts, not
  be fake-baked, have black or brown hair, and either be Asian or have an
  Asianish or interesting face.  Meeting these requirements means that I
  am probably starring at you and thinking about talking to you,
  especially if you are sitting all alone in a place like Panera Bread.
  
  2.  Nerdiness: 
  The instant I start talking to someone and they bring up something
  nerdy that I remember from my childhood or from fun times past is the
  instant I am turned on by them.  If they pass the first test, which
  they should if I am talking to them, finding out that they also love
  [insert nerdy topic here] often makes me wet.  I can’t help it.  Also,
  outwardly admiting after a short conversation that you do indeed have a
  huge porn stash on your computer, especially if you are female, drives
  me crazy.  If hentai comes up as one of your interests you might as
  well take me back to your place because you just passed the make-out
  test.
  
  3.  Naked and still attractive: 
  If you pass the first two turn on tests, this test is sure to come
  soon.  For males, if they are indeed completely hairless on their chest
  and back and have at least resonably sized penises, I find them
  attractive while naked.  For females, as long as they don’t for some
  reason look horrible naked I’m fine. 
  Seeing someone naked up close for the first time always makes me
  insanely wet and subsequent naked times are just as big of turn ons.
  
  4.  Matching fetishes: 
  I love it when someone has the same sexual fetishes as me or at least
  ones that compliment mine.  For example, I love to dominate.  I need
  someone who is very permissive and who likes to be treated like a slave
  during sex.  I also like penetration.  I need males to allow me to use
  toys to penetrate them from behind.  When I find out my fetishes are
  shared by another person, especially if we are just talking about it I
  get incredibly turned on.  If I find out during sex, I’ve been known to
  cum without any actual touching of my vagina when I start penetrating
  someone or putting someone in bondage.
  
  5.  Unattainable sexual fantasies: 
  For some reason I love to think about things I can’t have.  It can
  really get me going.  A prime example is the show House.  I would have
  sex with Dr. House in a moment.  However, he is a fake character and I
  can’t.  Because of this, thinking about it is an insanely amazing turn
  on.
  
  6.  Sudden twists of fate: 
  I don’t think anything on this entire earth turns me on more than a
  sudden twist of fate in a sexual sense.  Say I’m chatting with a new
  friend at a coffee shop.  He/she suggests we go do something fun at
  his/her apartment.  I agree.  When we get there, we play some video
  games and all that, but suddenly start making out.  An unexpected twist
  of fate like that probably gets me wetter even than fetishes.  I’ve
  been known to cum without touching if someone suddenly holds me close
  and kisses me when I wasn’t expecting it.
  
  There, that’s the
  list.  The last two aren’t related to the first four.  These are the
  main things that turn me on.  There are other things, but these are the
  most effective things.

  Nope, no change at all.  I suppose things like this don’t become different as one ages.

  • 4:34 pm
  • 1 Comment