As a sex addict, I am pleased with my male. After the introduction of the dual hole allowance into our sexual enjoyment, he has proved very interesting. I have been on my period...as I said, but that does not handicap me to pleasure him or him to embrace me and enjoy my breasts. I find that he very much enjoys the touching of all things below the belt, including our newly added plaything. This pleases me. He makes such enjoyable noises. He also did something unexpectedly pleasurable yesterday. While sitting upon my chest with his huge cock in my mouth, he began doing my work for me, thrusting it in and out. I found this exciting and it left my hands open to do other things. He reached climax quickly. I was pleased.

We have such amazing pleasure. I continue to imagine with great glee and anticipation the time when it can be shared by yet another. The joys an extra pair of hands, an extra mouth and and extra super hott body could bring would be endless! Watching hentai, my male and female next to me naked, warm and excited, I can think of nothing better. This time will come and I will be ready.

Sometimes foolish jokes make me smile. I will share two that were told out loud in my chemistry class, one by a student and one by the professor.

Student's joke: A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. They both sit down at the bar and order drinks. The giraffe gets very drunk as time goes on and passes out on the floor. The man gets up to leave and the bartender says to him, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' on the floor!" The man turns and says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

Pause for laughter...

Professor's joke: A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. After it finishes it asks the bartender for the tab. The bartender replies, "Oh, for you, no charge."

Pause for groans...

And then in a flash, everyone stopped laughing as our TA ruined the foolishness with an announcement about the test next week. What a bitch. As Ron would say, "You BITCH!"

I guess they were more amusing in class. I find that things are funnier when you are on a diet and have little in your stomach. The lightheadedness makes everything a little weird... I am still very tired from the lack of food, but I know that I will be pleased with the results of my quasi-starvation. I am already feeling more beautiful. I am very vain when it comes to my looks. I like to think that I am very good looking. Having the perfect male companion to tell you how attractive you are all the time does not help matters. Anyway, my diet is going well and I am pleased.

I am not pleased. I found a female using that foolish tool for tools, facebook. Unfortunately, it was late, and when it gets late, I get drunk off of lack of sleep, and when I get drunk off of lack of sleep I become more free with my thoughts. This is not good when paired with high speed internet and a really fun facebook search that makes it easy to find females to e-mail randomly at 3 in the morning... I recieved a response from one of the females I randomly e-mailed at 3 in the morning. She was pleased by my request for a date and suggested that it was her first with a girl. I pondered for a fraction of a second and then checked her profile. No picture...little information...it's like a game of chance. I like chance. I responded and invited her to meet me at the columns for a nice night.

She came up behind me as I sat, throwing the freshly pulled grass into the air. She was so slender, couldn't have weighed more than about 85 lbs. Her face was pretty average, but not horrible. Her lips were thin and not good for kissing I suspect. I could picture her small but enjoyable breasts in my right hand as I pulled her close to me with my left. Her gothic aura excited me. I wanted her clothing to evaporate. I didn't know what to say, so I blurted out that we should eat. I was hungry.

We began our stroll and as we talked I realized she was not for me. I pondered what to do about the situation. I decided to let the date run its course and give her a chance. As time passed, I found I enjoyed talking to her. She didn't run out of things to say. While strange, she was interesting. I again wanted her clothing to evaporate. I found her physically exciting, even if she did not stimulate me mentally. We finished the date by going back to her dorm after walking around campus for about an hour. It was nice. She was alone in her dorm since she had effectively scared her roommate off. I found this very reasonable. She was very different. Being in her room made me want to remove all of her clothing and touch her anywhere she would let me. I found her to be boring in her room. She left the door open and talked about rocks. I asked her if she drew anime, hoping to find something to be excited about. She showed me some drawings and I was very unimpressed. I had to leave at 8:40...I ended up leaving at 8:50 because she can talk your ear off. Unfortunate.

She seemed to like me very much. She wanted my number and I gave her mine. I don't know if I will call or not. I think I might simple facebook her back and make up some lame ass excuse why I don't want to be in a relationship. I may just tell her the truth. I have a male and I find her unworthy of enjoying both of us. We need someone who can fit into our lives. She would not.

I was pleased to get back into my male's loving arms after the date. He supported me in it, but also found her unattractive (He was hiding and spying.) and a little strange at first glance. I need to find a female we can both enjoy and find attractive. My male and I are one. We cannot be considered two. We will not be separated. I will never find anyone who I can love more, but perhaps I can find someone I can love equally.

He had a bad day today. I was displeased by this considering I had a date and could not comfort him. He did not awaken for our calculus quiz and came to class late. Our TA is allowing him to make it up, but he was still very upset with himself. I love him so. Our joy is connected and as his is drained, so is mine. The same is so for him. It is a vicious cycle. I see his sadness and mine grows, he sees mine and his grows. We become sad together. This happened today. He is perfect in all ways. I am pleased by him. To have him always to come back to after disappointments, it takes all the fear out of dating.

I will find a female eventually. However, this attempt was a failure. Goal number five unsatisfied.

It's nice to be able to just lay around and watch hentai all night. It is my want to do that all the time, but I have other things that I must do...like get up tomorrow for chemistry. My eloquence fades as the hours continue to advance. I must continue later.

This diet is taking it out of me. Good thing the low blood sugar
headaches fade after the first week. My stomach is so angry with
me. The push-ups of course cause pain in my back, neck, arms and
abs, but it is good pain. I am growing stronger. I only feel weaker now. I am very tired but that makes sense. It is pretty late...or early.

Ahh...to sit in my little computer chair and rest.  DDR is fun, but it takes much energy.  I still need to do some push-ups, perhaps 50.  Then I will take a nice long shower and enjoy the suds and bubbles and warmth.

I am excited!  Things are going well for me on goal number five.  I think it might be easier than I imagined.  I don't want to jinx it, so I will say no more.

My mother called me and told me my tax refund was in.  Nearly 200 dollars will be returned to me from the foolish government.  Thieves.  I know what I will buy.  I was looking at the box set of "Moonlight Lady" at Suncoast.  It is two and one half hours of hentai goodness.  It was 70 dollars and at the time I was not willing to pay such for it because I was low on funds.  Now I can buy it without regret...unless it is not enjoyable.  It takes a lot for me to not enjoy a hentai, though.  It would have to include many elderly men raping young women or murders (Damn you, "Nymphs of the Stratosphere"! Damn you!!!) for me to be irritated.  All other things are acceptable.  Demons, tentacles, bondage (as long as the women are enjoying it...like in "Cool Devices"), all those things are fine, but I cannot abide by the raping and murdering of beautifully drawn young women.

I must get to my exercising and shower time goodness.  Then I will watch "Iron Chef".  All these little things in life bring me such pleasure.  I am pleased.

I was incorrect. I am content in all things but one. I want to kiss a female right now. I want to feel her body against my own. I want to feel her gentle embrass around my waist. I want to go roll in the grass with her at night and look at the stars. I want to smile at her and hug her and give her flowers and candy and take her out to dinner at Steak n' Shake at 3 o'clock in the morning. I just want one. Oh, please, if you read this and you are wishing the same thing, for a female to love, post a comment, e-mail me, anything! Please!

My male points out that no one will ever post on my xanga. I told him some of what I type here and he agrees with me that most people are turned away by what I say. He smiled at me when I told him I should erase it all and make up pretend thoughts. He told me that I wouldn't be me anymore if I did that and anyone I met would be incorrect for me. He is wise in his perfection. I am pleased by him. If only he could change from a male to a female at will, I would need no other. I really don't need any other anyway, he is perfect, but it would definitely be fun to have a female for us to enjoy together. Oh, I have said this too many times, but since no one reads this, I can say it however much I would like to.

I smile as I think about this entry. So long has it been since my joy, my true, pure joy allowed itself to be manifest. I have been strangely depressed for a long time and now I can say whatever I wish. I am pleased by xanga. It is hard to explain.

Sometimes you wake up and you are just so glad to be awake and alive and full of breath and sight and all the things that we have every day, but don't think about, that you just think you are in a dream, or that you are just feeling the lingering effects of one, but the feeling lasts. You see the clouds for all their beauty and you hope it will rain so that you can dance in the lifegiving water. You are drawn to flowers and wish for a camera constantly at the site of them, so beautiful and pure. You find yourself smiling too much, or skipping too much, or frolicking too much, but you don't mind all the people staring at you. You laugh more. You pull out the clothing you wear only when you feel beautiful. You stare at other attractive people, hoping they stare back and then pass your smile to their faces. These are the things that I am experiencing. It has been so long.

I can say everything I think here and no one complains or even comments. I can simple make it a log for myself, to remember how wonderful my life is and to enjoy the beauty of the angel staring back at me as I reread my entries and smile.

I think the real reason for my happiness is much more, however. It includes:

1.) I have let go of my constant need to get A's. I may get an A- in physics, or in economics, or even in calculus...but I am not worried. I am still doing well. My teachers like me. They know I try hard. That is all that matters. Few jobs are won by a few tenths of a point of GPA.

2.) I have been home more often to see my family. I love them and I miss them here at college. They are the most wonderful family that anyone could have hoped for.

3.) I feel more beautiful just being on a diet, and therefore, the rest of the world is allowed to be more beautiful in my eyes and I am joyful.

4.) My male is so wonderful and I am pleased by him at all moments. He likes to kiss my neck in the mirror and I want to video tape us sometime for we look so in love that it is astounding to me. Perhaps I cannot convey the message with words. If you are in love then you will also understand.

It really is hard to put into words. I am so thoroughly happy, completely from my head to my little toes, except my vagina of course. It is gross, but it will be better in a matter of days. It is like there is nothing wrong in my life and there never was. Even though I am working to correct some things, they don't really matter. They are superficial things that only slightly enhance happiness. Overall, in my true heart where the things that matter are stored, I am happier than I ever thought possible. Those who know this feeling, once again, will understand, but those who don't will just have to imagine.

In summary, my life is very good. Maybe it is not perfect in every little tiny way, but it is so close, so terribly close, that I am content.

My first goal is going well. My ability to suppress my hunger is strong indeed. However, a problem has come to my attention. An attractive female from my physics lab told me that I was foolish and that there was no way that twenty pounds of fat were located anywhere on my body. Perhaps ten, she said. I thought about it. If you count my breast, I suppose there could be twenty pounds, but otherwise, she is correct. Thus, I am changing my goal. I will lose to 117 lbs. I think thirteen pounds is a reasonable estimate for how much fat I have.  My ass is the major contributor, along with my hips, so I will simply lose all that. I will also do push-ups in a progression of twenty-five more a day each day until I reach 500. Then I will switch to one handed. Of course, DDR will also play a role. In this way, I will gain muscle while losing fat. This will be good. I am pleased.

It is such horrible torture, this thing called menstration.  So, I
am furtile.  I am not impressed at the moment.  Yes, yes,
being able to create life is wonderful and magical, but I need no such
thing at the moment, so getting a reminder that I didn't do it this
time does not make me happy.

Being on birth control as I am, the cramps are gone and the guessing is
completely out, but the blood continues.  After six days of no
stimulation, I am an animal.  Day two began about two hours ago
and I am already going crazy.  Just looking at my male is too
much.  I require him at all times.  He is so perfect, so
good, so pleasing, perhaps too much so for situations like this. 
Oh, the torture...

Counting down the days...