May 15, 2006

• Feeling strange...

  I feel so odd today. I had so many worries lifted from my shoulders in a few hours that I feel so different from yesterday. I was almost verging on depressed. I felt that weight, that chronic, slowly increasing weight, returning to my being. I didn't want to do anything fun. I didn't want to do anything but sleep. For some reason I was rocketed back to high school for a few days. I'm back now, though. I don't know what it was.

  Actually, I guess it was a combination of things. My male was away. I couldn't post on xanga like I did at college. I missed my first pill a while ago and even though the box says it is fine to miss only one I was still worried about getting pregnant. I wasn't completely sure I had a 4.0 in Calculus 2. My house was gross and messy because my parents are busy with the apartments and my mom doesn't have time to clean anymore. The foreign exchange student in my house is in the room where I keep my PS2 and is always playing it because he is a reclusive little Thai kid. He gives me the willies and I can't tell him to GTFO my PS2. My parents aren't as cool as they used to be. My little brother has turned into a metrosexual jerkoff with alcohol in his fridge. Damn roadtripping son of a bitch (No offense, Mommy.)!! I could go on. Being away at college made my house a lot less cool. I got used to things one way and now I have to re-get-used-to-them another way.

  I feel better, though, like I said. That weight is gone. I want to do stuff again. I got the internet hooked up in my room so I can post again. I've been talking to my male a lot on the phone. I started my period. My professor e-mailed me and told me that I got an A in Calculus 2. I cleaned my room and the bathrooms, the main source of my "unclean" concern. I realized Suthiwat will be gone in a little over a month and my PS2 will be free!! I still have my GBA SP that he can't play with. *raspberries at Suthi's room* I realized I am just getting older and you can't think your parents are as cool as your friends forever. My little brother moved into one of my parents' apartments. He's not in my face anymore. I just feel so much better now. I don't know why I even allow myself to get into those kinds of moods, but it happens, just like back in the dark ages of high school.

  As I said...I feel pretty odd now, like Goku when he turns the ultra high gravity off and stops training. I just want to frolick or play a good video game. Maybe I will play Final Fantasy VII. Wait, maybe I will play World of Warcraft. No wait, I think I want to play "Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories" as Riku and watch "Memoirs of a Geisha," which I just bought today. That should be fun. Time to make some brownies and snuggle on the couch with my little handheld joy and the remote...maybe some hot cocoa. Mmmmm...hot cocoa... *drools*

  • 6:42 pm
  • 6 Comments