June 3, 2007

• Tagged

  I'm not one to react to internet crap where you have to reply to 15 people in 15 minutes or your wildest dreams will never come true or any of that garbage, but by chance I visited another xanga and found myself tagged to talk about my top six turn ons.  Since I love talking about turn ons, here goes:

  1.  Outward attractiveness:  This may seem like a silly number one as it is very shallow, but if we go in chronological order rather than biggest turn on order, this one is the most important.  You must be attractive to me before I persue a conversation with you.  For males, this means you must:  be skinny, be pale, not have red hair, have broad shoulders and a tiny waste, be hairless on the portion of your body visible in public at least, and have an interesting face.  For females, this means you must:  be skinny, have sizable breasts, not be fake-baked, have black or brown hair, and either be Asian or have an Asianish or interesting face.  Meeting these requirements means that I am probably starring at you and thinking about talking to you, especially if you are sitting all alone in a place like Panera Bread.

  2.  Nerdiness:  The instant I start talking to someone and they bring up something nerdy that I remember from my childhood or from fun times past is the instant I am turned on by them.  If they pass the first test, which they should if I am talking to them, finding out that they also love [insert nerdy topic here] often makes me wet.  I can't help it.  Also, outwardly admiting after a short conversation that you do indeed have a huge porn stash on your computer, especially if you are female, drives me crazy.  If hentai comes up as one of your interests you might as well take me back to your place because you just passed the make-out test.

  3.  Naked and still attractive:  If you pass the first two turn on tests, this test is sure to come soon.  For males, if they are indeed completely hairless on their chest and back and have at least resonably sized penises, I find them attractive while naked.  For females, as long as they don't for some reason look horrible naked or have tiny breasts suddenly, I'm fine.  Seeing someone naked up close for the first time always makes me insanely wet and subsequent naked times are just as big of turn ons.

  4.  Matching fetishes:  I love it when someone has the same sexual fetishes as me or at least ones that compliment mine.  For example, I love to dominate.  I need someone who is very permissive and who likes to be treated like a slave during sex.  I also like penetration.  I need males to allow me to use toys to penetrate them from behind.  When I find out my fetishes are shared by another person, especially if we are just talking about it I get incredibly turned on.  If I find out during sex, I've been known to cum without any actual touching of my vagina when I start penetrating someone or putting someone in bondage.

  5.  Unattainable sexual fantasies:  For some reason I love to think about things I can't have.  It can really get me going.  A prime example is the show House.  I would have sex with Dr. House in a moment.  However, he is a fake character and I can't.  Because of this, thinking about it is an insanely amazing turn on.

  6.  Sudden twists of fate:  I don't think anything on this entire earth turns me on more than a sudden twist of fate in a sexual sense.  Say I'm chatting with a new friend at a coffee shop.  He/she suggests we go do something fun at his/her apartment.  I agree.  When we get there, we play some video games and all that, but suddenly start making out.  An unexpected twist of fate like that probably gets me wetter even than fetishes.  I've been known to cum without touching if someone suddenly holds me close and kisses me when I wasn't expecting it.

  There, that's the list.  The last two aren't related to the first four.  These are the main things that turn me on.  There are other things, but these are the most effective things.

  • 12:45 pm
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