January 25, 2008

• I always wonder if entries are about me.  Sometimes I read entries as though they are about me even though I know they aren't.  I insert my name wherever the person's love interest/best friend/favorite pet appears and then read the entry like it's addressed to me and I'm seeing something secret that I shouldn't be seeing.  For some reason it really entertains me.

  I love xanga.  I can say whatever I want.  I think sometimes I should just get a paper journal, but there's an allure to posting your hearts deepest secrets in a place where everyone can see, but no one ever looks. 

  I like to imagine what Jason would think if he read everything I write about him.  Would he be creeped out beyond reason or would he be thrown deeper into his obsession with me (that I also imagine)?  He's so much more entertaining than any game I've ever played.  I feel like I should write a book about this "character" that I've created for him and call it something pretentious. 

  I know what Ryan would say.  He'd say, "You think way too much of me.  Plus, I don't date overbearing dominating females anymore.  It's nothing against you in particular.  So really, you should stop idolizing me."  Then he would run his fingers through his hair and get back to whatever else he does on the internet, which would be everything.  I haven't checked his blog in a while.  I'm sure he's posted like 12 other terribly pompous fictional works that he thinks are amazing...and are amazing.  I'll have to take a look-see and post some rude sexual comments about them since he has anonymous posting.  That dork, what an enabler.

  Monique, on the other hand is a complete mystery.  I think she realizes in her incredible ability to understand human emotion that I of course admire here wonderfully large booty and her cute little breasts.  She must realize that I love her face and her hair and her dark deep eyes.  She must know that I hang on every word she says to me.  I know she knows.  She has to.  But if I said it out loud to her, what would she respond with?  I like to think she would skip over to me and kiss me on the cheek, raising on of her feet in the air like in girlie romance movies, but would she?  She'd probably just pass it off as a compliment and move on from there like nothing was ever said.

  Also, if you read this, we should hang out some time on campus unless it would be too much of a strain not to reach out and touch me.  I know it's tough for me, but I feel so unjustly robbed (by myself) of time with you.  You didn't come talk to me barely at all on Thursday.  It made me feel awkward because I know you now know everything I ever think.  Keep that in mind.

  Class time and I still haven't eaten anything.  Damn it.

  • 12:52 pm
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