February 17, 2008
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I feel so god damn awkward all the time. Every morning I wake up and look in the mirror. My ass is so big and I have these horribly large love handles. My clothing just doesn't fit and it sucks. I thought that I would be losing weight faster than this...
I feel like not eating today, but whenever I think that I slap myself mentally. Anorexia is a terrible path to tread. I try not to be revolted by eating food, but sometimes after I've eaten I just feel so terrible. Good thing I really hate throwing up also. Bulimia will never be a problem for me.
I just need to exercise more. Maybe I need to work out every day instead of every other. I miss playing DDR an might get back to that business. I should stop watching America's Next Top Model. Tyra Banks is such a stupid spoiled whore.
I've been singing really sappy, girlie music to myself lately. I keep forgetting my iPod and the lamest music pops into my head when I don't have it. I'll think things like, "My heart will go on? What the fuck am I singing!?" but then I'll sing the stupid song anyway.
I was crying so hard that it hurt my eyes and I wrapped my arms around his waste and asked him to sing me a song. He said the first song that popped into his head was "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" so I told him to sing it. His voice is beautiful and he made that song so soothing and wonderful, even though it's just a silly little song with no real deep meaning or emotional clarity.
I wish I didn't feel like a complete idiot all the time. I feel like everything I say is offensive or awkward. I can't filter myself in front of children and end up cursing regardless. I just feel really strange sometimes, even around people I've known for a while. And yet, they all still hang out with me. They all still think I'm an amazing person. They all still tell me how neat I am. Where is this disconnect coming from?
Mike's Hard Lime + Yu-Gi-Oh! the Abridged Series + The Mangler = an awesome night of silliness.
Comments (5)
Hmm, okay. Well I would think it would be a little less entertaining if you take away the partying in general, but then again, I'm not a big party-person so I won't know what I'm missing. n_n
What is chemical engineering about? I just know that there's different variations of engineering.
well, I'm glad you're smart enough to avoid anorexia and bulemia. I don't care how skinny you are, not eating, and puking all the time isn't attractive. Good luck with the excercising (I would suggest swimming, it burns fat like there's no tommorow.)
thanks for visiting
-Sumyung
..Hello ^_^
It doesn't sound like it's boring but a little confusing. Makes me think about my physics class that I took.
It's all just over my head.
You should seriously see the music I have on my iPod. It is really embarrassing but I don't care! Haha. That is a great song, even if it makes me feel like I am back in the 4th grade again, haha. Thanks for the comment though, I do love me some Beatles. =)
<3
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