March 13, 2008
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Time passed so slowly, almost as though I was watching a clock at all times, as though the second hand slammed reluctantly, taunting me with it's sluggish mannerisms. When I'm 60 will I look back and think about these interludes of wishing away my life? Will I be disappointed in myself for asking time to hurry its lazy ass up? Will I chide myself with commonly accepted statements like "college is the best time of your life" and "have fun while you can, because when you graduate everything goes downhill"? I certainly hope not. I hope everyone is wrong. I think everyone is wrong.
I can't wait to have a house and a job. Nothing could compare to the subconscious stress I put on myself to get perfect grades. At a job, if you do well you get a promotion. If you do average you keep your job. I've always wanted to know what it would be like to be average.
I really should have been an education major, or so it seems from my current experiences. I wish I had known that several years ago.
When is my hoodie going to be done? I miss it. I want it back. It's perfect hoodie weather now. I should call. I feel like my child has been sent to a summer camp that doesn't allow letters or phone calls home. Oh, hoodie, I promise we'll be together again soon.
I took my iPod with me today because it isn't 266 K outside anymore. I get scared that it will be damaged by the extreme cold and it means a lot to me because my male purchased it of his own volition and without me driving him to the store (he is extremely nervous in large crowds and travels with me whenever possible). I want to protect it. However, today I took the risk and was rewarded with music in my ears and a smile on my face the entire way to class.
I love seeing how people find my xanga. Someone typed in the word "being" and found me. I feel so existential.
I think I'm going to make myself some angel hair pasta.
Comments (2)
Haha.
I love how you feel existential for that reason.
Aw, I don't think life goes downhill at all after you graduate. It's just a different stage of your life. Things are always relative to ourselves, from our point of view. We don't lose our sense of happiness and ability as time goes on, unless of course, if we inflict that upon ourselves. I aim to be a happy grandma with silver flowing hair and a sharp wit. There's happiness to be found in every season of life. <3
My iPod broke. : I feel silly having depended on such a little thing to amuse me and comfort me through emotional rollercoasters, but it's quite amazing how people use the iPod to reclaim their personal space in public areas.
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