July 18, 2008

• POW20F1V3D1C3

  This is a long entry.  Just a warning so you don't read on and then suddenly realize it took you an hour to get to the end.

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  OH MY GAWD this guy came into the Vizzle G to play Magic the Gathering tonight and I think I have to write this down for the sake of looking back on it.

  He basically came in and had a backpack on which is a no-no at the game store since you can just pick up a blister and toss it in your bag pretty easily, so I asked him to give it to me to put behind the counter.  He did so but then hovered around the counter like I was going to set it on fire or something, which I found really weird.  He then proceeded to greet my coworker three separate times before asking where the bathroom was.  When the door closed Ryan looked at me and mouthed "WTF" and we just looked at each other completely confused and kind of alarmed.

  By the time he came out of the bathroom our local Magic card guy had shown up and the dude proceeded to grill him about several cards that he wanted in this angry voice like he was going to kill if he didn't get these fucking cards.  I gave him back his backpack realizing that it was full of his cards and that he was going to be staying here the whole night and softly whimpering to myself that he was super creepy and I'm glad I work with a medium build male instead of all alone.  Nat, the card guy, took it like a champ and just kept answering this guy's super angry questions about what cards he had in stock.  After getting whatever random cards he was wanting he informed us all that he was going outside to smoke, did so, came back in, told us he was going back outside to smoke, did so, and then sat down to riffle through his cards.

  Later some children came in and like a fucking moth to a flame this guy ran up and was like, "You playing tonight?"  The kids, who seemed super creeped out, responded sheepishly that they were.  The he was like, "Well, you better have cards," looks at me and says, "Did they bring their cards?" like I would have any idea then looks back at them and says, "You need cards or you can't play because this is a card game."  At this point I began wondering if he was mentally retarded, a child molester, or both.

  As I'm signing him up for the tournament he asks me like five times how long it will be until he can play.  After I tell him it will be a few minutes he tells me he's going to go outside and smoke, then he tells the kids he's going to go outside and smoke, then he goes outside, takes like two puffs of the cigarette, puts it out, comes back in, goes back outside, lights another one and does the same thing again.  At this point I was wondering if he was a malfunctioning robot created by aliens to try and fit in with human society.  I mean, damn.

  After everyone has been playing and the first round is almost over except for his games (God damnit he was paired with one of the kids first round by the computer program and I was so angry at it.  At least their father was there the whole time.) I went over to ask what game they were on out of three to assess the progress of the round and when I needed to call time.  I ask simply, "What game is this?"  His response?  "Magic the Gathering."  Really??  Really?!  I had no idea you were playing Magic the Gathering!!  Wow!!  Not like I signed you up for the game or sold you some cards or anything!  He wasn't kidding either.  He didn't smile or laugh.  He actually thought I wanted to know what card game they were playing.

  Lots of stuff along the same lines happened throughout the course of the night, culminating by him using the bottom of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow, exposing his rather large, hairy gut and causing me to become physically ill for a few moments.  He then approached the counter and asked if he could use the phone.  Ryan said sure and the guy starts saying numbers like Ryan's gonna dial the phone for him.  I don't think I've had anyone over the age of five call out numbers for me to dial on a phone for them.

  I think it was summed up by Nat, who when I asked if he had ever seen the guy before responded with, "Yes, a few times.  The first time you meet him you think he can't be serious or he's just pretending.  Personally, I think he's one of those people who could kill his mother without batting at eye and then put her in a chest freezer so he could still talk to her sometimes."

  The song "People are Strange" by the Doors just kept playing in my head the whole night and I don't think the hairs on the back of my neck settled down until about an hour after we closed the store.

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  I just want to say that today was an amazing day in the history of my researcher life.  A student I am tutoring for Organic Chemistry moved his tutoring appointment to yesterday from today because he had a test and wanted to study before it rather than discuss the results with me today.  That freed up this morning for me to go into the reactor and talk with my group members about a setup to insert a sample of a certain metal alloy into the neutron beam port of the reactor, the reason I need the blue key card rather than the green.  If he hadn't moved the appointment I wouldn't have been at the reactor and I would have missed out on one of the most uplifting couple of hours of my life, so I want to send mental good karma waves his way.

  Anyway, we are sitting in our ugly vintage chairs in our tiny office in the trailers that have been haphazardly attached to the laboratory area around the reactor (which while it sounds awful is actually the most comfortable, strangely homey little area I've ever called mine outside of my apartment) and I'm drinking the first Vault I've had in over a year and we're all sharing ideas about what we need to do, what calculations we need, what hurdles we have to overcome and all that when our professor walks by.  He smiles and says, "Looks like we've got a packed house today.  Let's have a meeting."  We head into the most utilitarian conference room (I think that's what I love about the trailers.  They are the bare minimum we need to not be outside and it makes me feel like all the money they didn't spend on a new building goes to research and like they know what's really important.) and he starts discussing this setup with us.

  Here's where the amazing part really kicks in.  He's actually listening to what we have to say.  He's making eye contact, nodding, incorporating our ideas into the design, discussing the problems we bring up, and even modifying things he proposed to more closely fit the direction we wanted to go in.  In all my years I never imagined that a research professor would do that.  I always imagined them as being stuffy and self absorbed and uninterested in allowing students to "ruin the experimental vision" they have in their minds.  I was simply taken aback and I just started smiling uncontrollably.  I mean wow. 

  Keep in mind also that the only other research experience I had drove me to a mental breakdown during which I was the most emotionally unstable and miserable that I have ever been in my entire life, so my expectations were pretty low.  I was expecting this research to be slightly better, especially since it isn't making explosives for the military and is instead about recycling nuclear fuel and making nuclear reactors and solar energy more efficient, but I never expected my opinions to matter.  It was awesome.  I'm still coming down from the high of feeling knowledgeable and wanted in the context of scientific research.  My life is so amazing.  It's hard to believe I'm not just living in some kind of dream world sometimes.

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  I missed you, xanga.  I'm glad I can always come back to you and you're never mad that I didn't talk to you for like three months.

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  I think I should work on not being such a hard ass when it comes to other human beings.  I'm the most judgmental person I know and that's not an enjoyable thing to know about yourself.  I don't really know how to stop, though.  What steps can I take to quick over-analyzing human behavior and condemning people for little silly things?  How can I be sure they are little silly things and not big nasty things?  Why can't I ever just NOT think about someone and what they are thinking or feeling or doing or believing?  Why am I so constantly interested in how I stack up to others and how they perceive me?

  And yet, I never tell someone something I don't mean.  If I don't like you it's no secret.  You'll know because I'll tell you when you ask.  If I tell someone else how I feel about you and then they tell you and you confront me, I'll never deny what I said.  Why keep your thoughts a secret if others really want to know?  I'm of the opinion that the truth, no matter how harsh, is always more desirable than a lie or silence.  In this case, is it really wrong to be judgmental?  If everyone knows I judge them and what I have judged, can I be said to be cruel?  Isn't a lie less respectful than a negative or insulting truth?  If someone is wearing a horrible shirt and asks you how they look and you don't tell them but think it or say it to someone else, isn't that more cruel than just letting them know so they have the incentive to change it if they wish not to be seen that way?  Can't the same be said for a horrible personality?

  Perhaps I'm just trying to justify my cruelty with fancy words.  I think way too much for anyone's, including my own, good. 

  Maybe I'm just madly in love with everyone on the planet and that's why I constantly think about them.  I guess I'm leaving out that I see good in almost everyone as well as bad and I admire probably 75% of the humans I interact with on a daily basis.

  I'm making myself think of the Doors song again.

  Now I'm thinking of "Renegade" by Styx.  Man that song rules.  I need their Greatest Hits album or something.

  Maybe I should get a Ted Nugent CD also.  I'll just have to scratch up the parts of the CD that contain "Wango Tango" and "Cat Scratch Fever" just to spite my dad and his love of them on 12 hour car rides to Texas.

  Can anyone say tangent?

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  I need to play something.

  • 1:20 am
  • 4 Comments