January 6, 2009

• Alright, I'll admit it's been more than a week but I'm so lazy.

  I guess I've been putting off a journal entry because nothing particularly ground breaking has happened in my life lately.  I feel like expounding on my holidays would be extremely boring because I really just sat around, talked with people in living rooms, ate food, drove back and forth and got a whole new wardrobe.  I guess I could post pictures of me in my new clothing, but honestly since I've never posted pictures of me in my old clothing or at my original weight before Weight Watchers...well, that seems pointless, too.  I always envisioned my online journals as places for me to let go of my inhibitions and tell it like it really is.  Right now, it really is boring.

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  When we got back from traveling from one "home" to the next, and I put home in quotations here because I consider my apartment my home and always confuse my mother when I use the word, I was really relieved.  I don't like traveling.  I don't like eating too much pecan pie.  I don't like meeting new strange relatives that want to know all about me even though I have little to no interest in them.  I don't really like what the holidays have become and would rather never receive another Christmas present than endure holiday commercials starting the day after Halloween.  Ugh.

  I haven't done much since our return home.  I've played a lot of World of Warcraft.  I've played a little Left 4 Dead.  I've primed and varnished various and sundry models in my Warmachine armies.  I've generally just been doing as much pointless nerdy stuff as I can before this break ends abruptly and I am forced to once again focus on non-pointless but extremely frustrating things.  I don't particularly want it to end.  I mean, when during the semester will I be sitting up at 5 AM writing a journal entry while my fiance builds a computer in our livingroom?  How many times during the semester will I waste entire 14 hour periods playing World of Warcraft followed by working out for a couple hours at 2 AM?  These are the things I enjoy and I can't do them when I am playing my role in society as the studious chemical engineering senior.  These are the reasons I will never have a class earlier than noon when I become a professor.

  Speaking of which, my applications for graduate school are now complete and I don't have to worry about them anymore.  *sighs*  Thank Heyzeus.  I mean...I guess I will still worry about them, but what I mean is that it is now out of my hands and up to the selection committees at the various colleges to decide my fate.  I have officially done all I can and I am glad.  Cross your fingers for me.

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  I don't think I understand how to interact socially with people who have completely (and I mean absolutely no overlap) different interests than I do.  When someone tells me they love New York City and musicals and politics and that stupid kids show Chowder I freeze up and can't think of anything to say but, "Wow, you're pretty much the exact opposite of everything I love in this world."  I mean, what do you say to someone when every question they ask you would result in a negative response if you were honest?  I guess I could just lie to them and pretend I don't automatically dispise them for buying a purse that costs more than $10 and then trying to impress me with it, but I don't like lying.  It never turns out well and then they assume that I like them instead, which results in a longer conversation about the purse, which results in me being even more annoyed and on and on.  I guess I'm just a lousy pretender and when I don't like someone they can automatically tell.  Perhaps I've got a far bit of social awkwardness built up from all the years of playing video games.  Actually, maybe it isn't social awkwardness.  Maybe it's jaded disregard for the opinions of people who I have determined to be worthless.  Maybe instead of considering myself socially awkward I should consider myself a overly judgemental asshole who relies too heavily on stereotypes to explain what she doesn't understand.  Meh.

  • 6:36 am
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