January 25, 2009

• I have this weird thing for anorexic girls.  Normally, I'm a very rational person and consider all relationships as an acceptance of the other human being with no motivation to change them in any way, but for some reason when I see an anorexic girl I just want to hold her and tell her everything is okay.  I want to love her and show her that she isn't worthless or nothing or disgusting.  And in these fantasies she always stares back at me with love in her eyes and realizes she has to eat more so she doesn't die and leave me (or us depending on the daydream) alone in the world.  I know, silly right?  I don't know what's wrong with me.  I should know that I can't change them, that their disease isn't something that can just be "loved" away, but I can't shake the feeling that there is one out there who is hoping for someone like me.

  I guess I always think that about everyone, that they are waiting for someone like me because I'm waiting for someone like them.

  I'm just babbling now.

  • 2:50 am
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