September 19, 2009

• My head hurts so much and I didn't do anything of real importance this evening except getting the groceries.  At least we ate sushi.

  My notebooks for class lay strewn about the living room futon unopened and abandoned.  I lied to them, speaking softly that I would get my homework done tonight as I headed off for dinner...but look at me now.  I've done nothing but read backwards in my journal until my own words made me uncomfortable and I had to stop.  Then I mindlessly wasted time on facebook.  I don't know what I expect when I refresh my homepage ever five seconds, but I do it anyway.  I can almost hear my notebooks gently sobbing to one another as I sit here stalwartly ignoring them.  But I needed a break.  I needed a break from thinking and talking and writing with a pencil and really doing anything but sitting here typing about myself.  I really needed to get back to blogging I think.  It was just time for some reason.

  Anyway, I love those gummy snacks that are shaped like the characters in Scooby Doo.  We call them Scooby Snacks.  I saw a five year old eating some at a friend's house and I couldn't help but laugh to myself that I had lived four times as long as she had but still delighted in the same things she did.  Please shoot me right in the brain if I ever lose my enjoyment of simple things because at that point I'll be dead inside anyway.

  I feel like I should "get to work" somehow on finding another woman to endlessly think about as entertainment in boring classes, but I don't know how to proceed.  At this point, I'm not in the dorms anymore.  I'm not good enough friends with anyone here to start courting them.  I haven't particularly met anyone who strikes my fancy here except an attractive young lady who I happen to be tutoring, but one shouldn't mix business with pleasure.  I'm starting to wonder if I'm getting too old, but as I type that I know it's not the case.  I mean, facebook quizzes tell me I'm only 15, so maybe my problem is actually that I'm too immature for things as complicated and fragile as relationships.  Oh wait, I'm married.  Nevermind.  I just don't know.

  I think the main problem is that I've never heard of anyone successfully having a mutual girlfriend within a marital relationship except porn stars, and I'm no porn star...though I suppose I could have been.  That wouldn't have been too bad a job when I think about it.  Then again, I don't think you get into porn with stretch marks on your natural 36Bs.  Pretty sure you gotta have silicon and > DDs.  Also a gaping vagina.  But I digress.  I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.

  Goodnight, internets.

  • 12:32 am
  • 2 Comments