October 27, 2009

• The last few days have had their ups and downs to be sure.  Downs are winning at the moment.

  I've been working feverishly to completely the spur of the moment (not usually a good thing with applications!) requirement that I apply for an NSF fellowship.  I've finished two of the three written portions and just need to get all the edits back from people, specifically my research advisor (>"<)!!!!  It's been rather slow going and I don't know what that means necessarily for me, but perhaps I just feel that way because I only have a few DAYS to finish them.  I'm going to start work on the final portion this weekend after all my homework and exams are finished and I can really focus since the last is probably the most important, that being my proposed research for the next five years.

  I had an exam on Monday that I think went rather well...at least I hope.  For the first time in the entire semester I was the first to finish and it lifted my spirits, if only for a moment.  Immediately after I went home and realized that I had no fucking clue how to do a homework assignment that is due TOMORROW and am going in tonight to speak with the professor about it.  I can honestly say I'm completely and utterly fed up with not understanding things and it's kind of crushing my soul right now.    In addition to that I can't finish another homework assignment that is due on Friday, but that will have to wait until after the exam on Thursday in THE HARDEST CLASS I'VE EVER TAKEN.  It's really frustrating not only to not understand a homework assignment but also to have to waste time on it when what I really need to be studying for is a giant exam.  Ugh.  Bleh.

  Even moreso while I was working on the impossible homework last night I got a phone call from my health insurance representative (or whatever he is) telling me that he had incorrectly spelled my husband's last name and I would have to fax him a copy of his driver's license.  Well, I don't have a fax machine, but I have a scanner and I figured it would be quicker if I could just email it, but the guy is like 80 and doesn't know how to do email so I had to mail it in!  Needless to say I'm getting antsy because my current coverage ends on October 31st and we still have not been sent our insurance cards for this new coverage that we have purchased because of all these stupid complications, none of which are our own doing!  And today I feel like my back is going to break in half but I can't go in and get it checked out because I am cardless!!  UGGGHHH!!

  I've also been rather stressed (as one could tell probably) and I've gained a total of about five pounds from mindless snacking while working on things!  I feel disgusting and fat and it's just a kind of slap in the face to me.

  So anyway I've been a bit frustrated lately.  However, on the upside, I have been assigned a research project on the production of biofuels and I'm extremely excited!  I now have a lab coat with my name on it, a really fancy research notebook, keys to my (It's so neat to be able to use the word "my" in relation to things!) labs, and even a desk in the group's office space!  I'm so excited and I can't wait to get started on research...but after I finish the NSF application.  I've even gotten all the stupid paperwork out of the way so that I am certifiably ready to begin research.  I just want all this coursework and stress to be out of the way so I can really get to the reason why I am here.  I can't wait!

  Well, I have to go try and figure out how to do my homework.  I'll try and post more later.

  • 5:36 pm
  • 3 Comments